Thursday at Three Pessimist: Oh great.. That glass is half empty. Optimist: See, there’s where you’re wrong. It’s half full. Pessimist: Don’t be a moron. Half of it is empty. Optimist: But the other half is full. Cynic: Yea, but the half that’s full is full of piss. Optimist: That’s not piss! It’s lemonade! Cynic: Really? Taste it. Surrealist: It’s obviously half full of clouds, and has lovely butterfly wings. Pessimist: Yea, whatever. Opportunist: (entering) Hey, I hope you guys don’t mind.. I drank half of that before anyone got here. Pessimist: Fine by us. This guy over here says it’s piss. Opportunist: What?! Alarmist: Oh my God! Optimist: It is not! It’s probably just fortified with vitamins giving it a yellowish color. Cynic: It’s probably rust from the city’s failing infrastructure’s pipes. Realist: Oh, for crying out loud! It’s just water! What are you guys, nuts? Pacifist: Could we just agree to disagree? It’s both - it’s half full and... All Others: Shut up! Pianist: What does everyone want to hear? Cynic: The keyboard cover slamming down on your hands. Conformist: (to Cynic) Do you realize you’re the only one who doesn’t have an “ist” at the end of his name? Non-Conformist: So what? Leave him alone! That’s good.... Atheist: Look, I think we should call it a “holiday” or “winter” party this year, instead of “Christmas” party because, y’know, not everyone believes... Cynic: Not everyone believes in “winter” either... Surrealist: What if the glass didn’t even exist? And we were just all characters in some guy’s mind while he sat at his desk on Thursday at Three? Opportunist: Hey is anyone writing this down? This could make a great TV show! Optimist: Yea, that could really work! Typist: Oh sure, everyone looks at me! Waitress-t: Would you guys like me to clear away this glass for you? Are you through...? All Others: Oh, uh.. yea.. sure...you can take it..... thanks.... |